Fitful, Not Restful

Well, I crashed at home this afternoon around 3:30. I think I’m sleeping for everyone while they’re at Dragon*Con.

I’d’ve slept well, but I’m worried for Noah, whose family is stuck in a nasty flood area. I think he’s been evacuated, but they suffered a flood just three years ago and really don’t need another! That, and Noah’s going through some rough times right now. -sigh-

You may ask why I’d care about someone I’ve never met? The answer is complex; Noah and I really seem to get along, and even when we debate and disagree, it’s friendly. But that’s not a good answer. For some reason, he’s been put in my life, and vice versa. He thinks I’d care no matter my faith; I’m almost sure that the main reason I do care is because of my faith.

I was much colder and more callous before I truly accepted my faith, and to be quite honest, I probably wouldn’t have given a happy damn about a guy like Noah before then. My faith defines so much of who I am that it’s inseperable from my character [well, almost entirely; I still stupidly sin, but I’m getting better]. Honestly, I can’t think of myself as not a Christian at this point, and even when doubt creeps in [and it does, as it will for anyone of faith], I can recognize the source [my lack of faith being worked on by external forces who would seek to destroy it] and bridge the gap.

You’ve got to bridge the gap. I stand convinced that this world doesn’t make sense, but that it makes just a little more sense with faith. We’re not ever going to have Perfect Knowledge, so we have to have something to bridge the gap between what is Logical and what is Real, because what is Real contains things both Logical and Illogical.

For example, what’s the logic in Noah’s family being flooded again, or in the families in Xenia, OH getting smacked with a tornado in ’89 that followed the path of the devastating ’74 tornado to a T? What’s the logic in all the senseless things that happen in this world? Sure, I guess you can explain weather phenomena with causalities, but then where do those causalities go back to–some dinosaur farting 100 million years ago decided whether it’ll rain tomorrow in Huntsville? What’s Logical about that?

The tussle between Logic and Faith is always going on within me, but you know, Faith usually wins. Why? Faith has answers for things that Logic does not. Faith isn’t perfect, but it has great intentions. Logic just is–it can really have no intentions. It’s obvious to me after living in this world that this world just doesn’t exist for existence’s sake; there’s something greater at work here, something mere Logic can’t explain. No wonder even ancient cultures looked to Faith to go where Logic cannot.

Too bad that all too often, the guys in charge of teaching the Faith have had ulterior motives at hand, usually involving power over society. As one who would be a teacher of Faith, I can tell you that my reason for teaching it is purely personal for each person I’ll try to reach: I want them to see my Faith, match it with their experience, and develop their own. That is all I can ask, and that is the Wesleyan tradition into which I’d seek to follow.

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I’d ramble on some more, but my brain is tired, and I think Heather or Katharine need some sleep about now. Okay, ladies, here it comes! -g-