Warnings and Encouragements

…or at least that’s what my copy of The Student Bible calls the passage I just read.

I have this habit of opening the Good Book to just any random page when I need something. Tonight, I need something. What, I don’t really quite know, so I opened up the Good Book like I’ve done so many times before.

I opened to Luke 12, specifically verses 1-12. [Linked for your comfort; I’ll be quoting as I see fit.]

Here’s what hit me first:

3: What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs.

I’m an amateur politician. I like to play games, dink with subtleties, dodge with verbal repartee. I do less of that here, because I feel like I do a good job of letting you peer into my soul. Heck, as soon as I get my bloody computer to like a bloody video card, you’ll see my ugly mug on a Web cam. [Kudos to Aaron for the courage to do that, or maybe it’s the shame … but he’s probably laughing either way.]

But one place I tend to keep people away from, for whatever reason, is my faith issues. Sure, you find entries littered throughout IJSM where I talk about my faith, what it means to me, what my calling is, etc. But I don’t want IJSM to be just about that–because there’s more to me than just that, even though, at this point, it’s the driving point, my raison d’etre, my sole point for living and being happy and such. IJSM is more for me to be as wacky as I normally am, as my friends and family know me to be. And so it shall remain.

But some of you have noticed my … reticence to discuss such things. You know who you are, folks. But two people in particular have pushed me to the point where I currently am, and it’s funny–both are in search of a faith to call their own. One pushed me by saying that she’d even contribute a site design for it. That tickled me to no end; I’m decent with the code, but yeesh, my pages end up looking like crap. I don’t have an artistic bone in my body, and I’ve always known that. -g-

So, ImperfectMirror.org has been registered, and it will be up soon. Why?

8: I tell you, whoever acknowledges me before men, the Son of Man will also acknowledge him before the angels of God.

I have been called to acknowledge the faith I live. I cannot escape that, and after some time–oh, I don’t know, just over four years–I don’t want to escape it any longer. I want to live it, because living it is easier than escaping it. Of that I am sure. Living it will be hard–so it was for the saints, so it is for the modern-day spreaders of the word. But living with it is easier than avoiding it. I’ve done that too long.

It’s time for the glib talk to go away, and the straight talk to come. That’s what IM will be for me, even though it’s necessarily imperfect, because its creator is. Hopefully, I won’t screw up too often. But it’ll all be there, written down–the progression of how you get from where I am to where I will eventually be. I don’t know the start date for sure and certain–I have to get the design worked on with my friend–and I certainly don’t know the end date, but the journey will, hopefully, be worth the view.

Oh, and what will I say? Well, when I was talking with Aaron the other night, I remembered a time when I spoke in front of a crowd at MissionFest, probably in 1996 or so. I don’t quite remember, but thinking on it, it had to be that year. Anyway, I spoke for, oh, I don’t know, fifteen minutes. The crowd was elated when I was done, and I think it was for more than the fact that I finally decided to shut my trap.

I pulled up a pew next to Big Ed, one of my youth pastors, who smiled and hugged me around the shoulders. “Good job, son,” he said. “Big Ed? What did I just say?” He just smiled.

To this day, I don’t know what I said.

11-12:When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say.

Yep. Sums it up nicely.

Good night. I must return to the workforce tomorrow, and my earliest of the five alarms [two on one clock, two on another, and the TV turning on] is a scant 270 minutes from now. Harsh, yes, but I’ve gotten enough sleep this week to merit the early start.