That Peter … He’s Tall … and Funny

Okay, so maybe my Kenny Mayne reset doesn’t work well in print.

But anyway … I remember having to urge Peter to Weblog much in the same manner as an eagle teaches its young to fly: throwing it out of the nest and screaming, “Just flap your wings, dumbnass!”

Peter might not think he’s funny, but today, he has me rolling:

So there we were, the 5 of us. Sometimes we wondered who would be the first to marry. Who would be the first to leave our ranks? Who would be the first scab to cross the picket line? It seemed clear to us that there would have to be some sort of brutal punishment to fit this obscene act, and so we looked to see how we could punish the first among us to marry. After a long search, we came across a crusty old can of SPAM. There had been some sort of leak or something, because the top of the can was brown and slightly sticky. Our just verdict was that the first man who left our ranks to become a husband would first have to eat that entire can of SPAM. At the time, it was already over a year old, and this was 4 years ago.

Turns out that the can was lost, and now one of the guys is ready to wed. How to keep the code of punishment?

It’s good to have friends in high places. So Tim will get his just desserts. He will eat a can of SPAM that has been scientifically aged 5 years by our comrades at General Mills. If it makes him puke, all the better for the rest of us.

Good stuff.

Even if you don’t know Peter, you should read him … if you like dark humor. 😀