I didn’t even realize until now that I made the “2910” typo. Hooray fat fingers.
Got a diagnosis. Worked through some things. Started getting really restless at work. Started feeling like work was going to be drawing down greatly. Decided to look elsewhere. Took a job in an another industry for someone I considered a friend. Soldiered through the summer where things really were slowly falling apart. Had a crisis. Checked myself in. Contract terminated while I was in. Recoiled from gut punch. Turned 32. Spent October in a complete fog. Tried to see the damn Shuttle launch. [It didn’t.] Took the jobhunting of October and turned it up to 11. Developed a job strategy going forward. [Understandably, I will not elaborate.] Came to understand that employment back at TBE wasn’t going to happen. Slogged through December. Made some big decisions about life that will carry forward into this year.
I spent New Year’s Eve of 2009 alone in my house. I spent New Year’s Eve 2010 with Kat and Sean. I think there’s something to that: the realization that I really can’t do life alone, much as I’d like to think that I can. My parents will tell you that my first complete sentence was “Me do it!” followed with a foot stamp. That’s pretty much been the guiderail of my life, and along the way, I never learned the lessons that life was teaching me about how much I need other people as much as I’d like to think they need me.
I begin 2011 in a pretty low place. I don’t have a job, and I’m at or near my highest weight ever. Lots of things feel very uncertain. What I’m sure of, though, is that circumstances will change, and I’m quite confident that most all of them will change for the better. I’ve still got a lot of blessings in my life: family, friends, faith, knowledge, intelligence, and strong personal values. Do I have a lot of failings? Damn right. But I am trying to be more hopeful this year. No resolutions, other than to hold off mocking anyone’s 2011 resolutions until 29 Dec 2011.
Any day I can get up and go is a good one, even if I don’t go very far.