This little list comes out from my friend Sheree:
1. You measure distance in hours.
2. You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
3. Stores don’t have bags; they have sacks.
4. Stores don’t have shopping carts; they have buggies.
5. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
6. You use “fix” as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.
7. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
8. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
9. You carry jumper cables in your car…for your OWN car.
10. You know what “cow tipping” and “snipe hunting” are.
11. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
12. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
13. You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
14. The local paper covers national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
15. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
16. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
17. You find 90 degrees F “a little warm.”
18. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Christmas.
19. You know whether another Alabamian is from southern, middle, or northern Alabama as soon as they open their mouth.
20. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
21. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as “goin’ Wal-Martin'” or “off to Wally World”.
22. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
23. A carbonated soft drink isn’t a soda, cola, or pop … it’s a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor
24. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from Alabama.
So, if you ain’t laughin’ … you ain’t from ’round here. If you ain’t laughin’, go home, Yankee.
[And you know the difference between a Yankee and a damn-Yankee? The Yankee goes home.]