Physical Weekend

I haven’t yet reached for the Advil, but I’m nearing that point. This weekend was one of the more physical ones I’ve had of late.

It all started on Friday night, when we took the kids from church to Florence to play laser tag. We had the place rented out all night … after a 90-minute drive over, we were in there from 11:00 p.m. ’til 6:00 a.m., with about an hour’s break for the vests to recharge. I didn’t even take the hour off, choosing instead to vanquish the kids in air hockey. We had a table in our basement when I was a kid, and I still remember all the basics of how to play well. I was never defeated, although I almost gave one game away.

We must have played ten games … at least I think that’s how many of the slips I found in my pocket Saturday night. I was pretty horrible my first couple of games: I was adjusting to an overly-tight vest [one not designed for a guy with a 54″ chest] and a different style of game. Every place I’ve ever played has had dark walls … this place had mirrors. I kept getting shot in the back and not knowing why until I could adjust.
Our team was pathetic. In the 11:00-02:00 period, we lost every game we played, and I never played well. I think I made for an easy target. Sure, I had the same size vest everyone else did, but I was taller than most everyone else out there, save for a couple of the other adults that went. That, and being a big guy, I don’t move so quickly. Oh well.

In the second half of the night, I decided we needed to get some strategy. What we came up with was this: two people up front, two in the middle, one person back to help me, and I just stood in the base. The comment someone made was, “Yeah, stick the big guy in the base. They’ll all shoot at him, and then he can just clog up the base where they can’t score.” Heh.

We moved into a double-elimination tournament, and the worst team moved up … and up. We lost our first game [of course!], then we beat the other losing team–which, by the way, had won every game prior to this. The irony of us taking Jeff’s team out was not lost on me … he just grinned and said, “Hey, I’m old, and I can sit out the rest of the night.” Smart guy. When asked how we’d won, I joked, “Well, we dragged them down to our level and then beat them with experience.”

We then won the next losers’ bracket game, which took us to the finals, where we faced our Youth Director’s team. No small amount of trash talk [kept clean, of course] was spoken, to be sure. Sure enough, they waxed us, but as the marshal said to me as we suited up, “For you guys to have played as badly as you did and then finally figured it out, it would be a really great story for y’all to come back and win this thing.” Alas.

Then we played Counselors v. Kids. There were six of us adults, and at that point [around 05:30, or when I’ve been getting up of late], the kids were pretty tired. We added two of the really small girls to our team, and then we let the kids have ten players on their side. Despite the fact that I sniped each of our girls at least once, we still won by about 25% more than their total. Old age and experience beats youth and exuberance yet again.

But wait! There’s more!

Saturday night, Todd and Anthony got some ice time down at the Iceplex. I finally relented and suited up in goal. Needless to say, since I can’t skate and wore boots out there, I was pretty bad. Damn radar pucks … I took one off the inside of my knee. Amazingly, it didn’t bruise, although it hurt like hell when I got hit there again yesterday playing floor hockey. After about an hour of flopping around, I’d had enough, and so I let Norm wear the amalgam of Blake and Anthony’s gear I’d borrowed to have them play a while. Meanwhile, I just DJ’d a few songs from Todd’s MP3 storage on his laptop.

Yesterday, we had two floor hockey games in intramurals. Again, I was a goalie … and in the first game, I was The Worst Goalie On Earth. Sure, my defense admitted that they didn’t give me scads of help [though every time Blake was back, he was awesome], but hey–we had fun. The second game, we played the Sigma Nu’s, and I know many of their guys from SGA. I ran a constant stream of trash talk, going under the guise of “Distracting them is the best way to keep them from concentrating on scoring.” It worked, as we only gave up five goals, two of which I was screened on by my defense. Oh well.

All in all, a fun weekend, and hey, I got a fair amount of studying for my Stability and Control exam in, too. That was the key goal of the weekend, and I’m now feeling pretty good about this exam. I’ll feel even better come 9:20 tomorrow when it’s over and done with, and even better when I get to go home Friday and spend two days with the folks.


  1. I can only wonder if *I* were a goalie. Imagine — tons of biscuits in the basket.

    I’d probably be worse than you and wear out Gary Thorne’s voice in the process making him say "SCOOOORRRRRREEEE!!!!" a zillion times.

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