Fear and Trepidation

I’ve been awake off-and-on for about the last hour. This is the time slot that I need for optimum Geofosity: I kinda like seeing the light in my windows go from dull darkneess to diffused daylight. When I wake up and see bright beauty in the windows, I know that I’ve slept far too late.

Anyhow, I’m up early not just for some sort of meditative and contemplative goodness … I’m up this early because I should be at work by 7:30 or so. You see, my boss is in Probate Court hell down in Macon, GA today [I think this is his father’s property, but you know, I’m really not sure, and while my boss and I are actually friends outside of work, it’s not my business, and I haven’t asked], and my Boeing customer is still in town. Today, they go back to their NASA customer and come clean on everything. I get to sit in on that meeting.

If you’re thinking, “This is not the time to sit the barely-been-there-three-months-engineer in front of the firing squad,” you’d be right. I’m the only experienced TBE person in this teleconference; the other person is one of our managers who’s new to the project. They have an interesting view on how this manufacturing effort should have gone, and while I’m tempted to agree with them on some things, I know that I don’t agree with them on everything.

I keep telling myself, “Self, this is why they pay you lots of money.” It didn’t really work at 2:30 this morning, but hey, I did go back to sleep.

On another thought, I have to be the only person who can chug down a 180 [one of those foofy orange-juice-flavored energy drink things] while in bed–and then be able to doze for a few more minutes. The only noticeable effect after 45 minutes is an increase in the acid content of my stomach.

I’d like to make it home before 7:15 tonight. I haven’t painted in a couple of days, and I’d like to get some more painting done just to have it done. I fear not being able to do anything with it at all this week, which will just mean that I’ll bust it trying to catch up this weekend and end up as tired as I did, well, Monday morning. [No, I didn’t paint all weekend last weekend, but I did paint when I was home and it was daylight.]

I don’t know what’s scarier, though: the prospect of this telecon, how much I’ve rambled in this one entry alone, or the fact that I already have 21.5 hours on this 80-hour pay period … and eight more standard workdays to go. I’ll easily be at 30 by the end of the day, and I don’t get overtime. I hate working for free, dammit. Maybe next Friday I’ll stay home and sleep or something.

Okay, okay, let’s stop rambling and go on to work…