Dear Nashville Predators Game Attendees

I have some advice for you.

1. Please note that I did not call you “fans”. You are not fans. Buying a jersey does not make you a fan—and if you bought one of those ugly, mustard-colored third jerseys that are an abomination and an affront to all things holy, well, you can stop reading now. The pagan hockey gods do not appreciate those jerseys. Why they are letting you sniff the playoffs at the trading deadline is beyond me.

2. When you are urged to “make some noise”, please do so. Just don’t stop when the exhortations stop. The people that run the Public Address system are required by the NHL to stop pumping sound out of their speakers while play is in session. You, however, are unrestricted from making noise. There were 16,000+ of you last night, and at times, I could hear players skating. This is not a concert—this is a frickin’ hockey game.

3. Any time one of your players falls down, and one of the opposing players is near, please do not assume that the referee is an idiot for not calling a penalty. Chances are that you are the one who needs glasses, not the referee.

4. Um, you know, CHEER. Chant. Do something. I had some fellow Bruins fans near me last night, and I almost started a couple B’s chants for fun, just to shame you losers.

5. When the opposing goalie makes a big save, a brief round of applause is in order. That lets him know that he got lucky.

6. Understand that waiting in line is part of sporting events during the playoff chase. Don’t whine. You should be happy that so many people want to come watch your crappy hockey team.

7. Hey, I want you people to get fired up. I was bored. You only taunted the goalie when the Predators scored. Come on. Taunt him all game long.

You people have a good franchise. Support it, for Pete’s sake. This is hockey, not the theater.

5 comments

  1. That’s what has frustrated me more and more when I go to Charger games. Our team can be as dirty as they want, but if the other team looks at a Charger funny the fans are all over the ref. They need to be given a hockey rule book and taught to understand that just because I have my stick around your waist doesn’t mean that I’m hooking you. If I drag you down, that’s a penalty.

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