A Working Theory on Homosexuality

As many heterosexual Christians do, I struggle with concepts relating to homosexuality. For one, it seems pretty clear that God believes that homosexuality is immoral and a sin. But on the other hand, you have the proclamations of many homosexuals that they feel born into their homosexuality and feel as if they have no choice. Like many Christians placed at this crossroads, I find it hard to deny their argument—because it’s never seemed to me that I’ve had a choice in my heterosexuality.

For some reason, a thought popped into my head this morning: being born homosexual is no different than being born a glutton, or an alcoholic, or a pathological liar, or any other such predilections. Frankly, we all have our own unique predilections to sin; great among my many sins is pridefulness and a need for recognition for good works that do not truly originate within me, but from Christ within me. [Case in point: I weblog discussion points I’d never make at church.] We cannot control how we are made; we can control what we do with our deficiencies and how we let them rule us. Not because it is easy—for it’s truly hard—but because, freed for joyful obedience, we must do so.

Or so goes my working theory of the moment.

7 comments

  1. I tend to agree with you on this one. We are all born with predelictions to sin; we all tend to struggle with different sins, though. I think the church’s error has come in magnifying the sin of homosexuality out of proportion with other sins. When I recognize that my sin of pride, or heterosexual lust, or whatever, is just as sinful as another’s homosexuality, I will approach that person with much more grace than I might be inclined to otherwise.

  2. Being born homosexual is no different than being born a glutton, or an alcoholic, or a pathological liar, or any other such predilections.

    I don’t think this is a worthy comparison. Being Gay is first and foremost about HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS, not about substance abuse or bearing false witness. The only thing that differentiates Gay people from Straight is the gender of the persons they would ever be in a relationship with.

    Has you ever been physically and emotionally attracted to another man? Probably not. Why? Because you are (ostensibly) heterosexual. It’s not a conscious choice you made. It’s simply the way you are.

    Like Straight people, Gay people have a natural desire for companionship and commitment. Most human beings seem to have the natural desire to pair-bond. I’ve always felt that human beings do best in pairs, and in this regard Gay people are no different from Straight people. While Morris would compare homosexuality to alcoholism, I think of it more as being left-handed. Just as left-handedness is a natural variation of manual dexterity, so being Gay is a natural variation on human companionship and pair-bonding.

    Your implied message seems to be, “If you’re Gay, it’s OK as long as you aren’t in a relationship.” In other words, if you’re Straight (i.e. heterosexual), you’re welcome to date people of the opposite sex and ideally get married and settle down and keep your commitment to one another … but if you’re Gay, well, you’ll just have to be lonely and miserable for the rest of your life.

    For me, the true conservative position is to encourage Gay people to strive for monogamy and commitment, rather than relegating them to lives of loneliness and promiscuity.

  3. You read my implied message correctly, actually: there may be many relationships, intimate and platonic, that cause us to sin. We should avoid them whenever possible.

    Please note that I wholly separate sacred and secular; I’m fine with the state choosing to recognize same-sex unions. It really doesn’t chap my hide one bit what the state chooses to do, and I do think that it’s a civil rights issue.

    That said …

    Just as left-handedness is a natural variation of manual dexterity, so being Gay is a natural variation on human companionship and pair-bonding.

    You’re diminishing/ignoring the sinful nature of homosexuality, though. I didn’t choose any of my predilections; I play the hand I’m dealt.

  4. You’re diminishing/ignoring the sinful nature of homosexuality.

    Not exactly … certainly not the Biblical context of rape, promiscuity, or ritual sexual practices in pagan temples. But in my consideration of Scripture, I simply don’t see the Bible addressing long-term Gay relationships that are based on love, fidelity, and respect. To equate such solemn commitments with lying or succumbing to gluttony or alcoholism is a poor value judgment.

  5. “As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life…”

    Homosexuality isn’t just a behaviour or an act. (it’s a modern terminology, having too many meanings.) You can choice behaviour, but not the condition, like this blind man. Sex is behaviour, but feelings (the internal chemistry) are condition. For example, can a heterosexual man choice to have an erection looking at another man? Try it yourself, then form your theory.

    God doesn’t ‘believe’ homosexuality is immoral. To be precise, any sex outside of heterosexual marriage is immoral. Homosexuality itself isn’t immoral, like blindness.

    God didn’t create love to be exclusively for heterosexuals. Many homosexuals choice friendship.

    The believe that marriage love is greater than friendship love is cultural prejudice; it is not biblical.

    Friendship isn’t a lesser love than marriage. Contrarily, the scripture says, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13.

    Consider these scriptures:
    1 Samuel 18:1
    Now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

    1 Samuel 18:3
    Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul.

    1 Samuel 20:41-42
    As soon as the lad had gone, David arose from a place toward the south, fell on his face to the ground, and bowed down three times. And they kissed one another; and they wept together, but David more so. Then Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, since we have both sworn in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘May the Lord be between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants, forever.’ ” So he arose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city.

    2 Samuel 1:26
    I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.

    All the caring, emotion, and love can exist in same-sex friendship, even to the extent of sacrificing life for a friend. This is the biblical perspective of friendship.

    Would you be looking for someone (same gender) whose soul was knit to your soul? Would you find such a love off limits? I paraphrased 1 Samuel 18:1.

    Would I be wrong to assume that heterosexuals would turn away such a love? Would I be wrong to assume that heterosexuals would discourage such a feeling?

    To understand homosexuality, we have to look at our own homophobia and prejudice.

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